Judas

His parents named him Judas so that he would learn the depth of loyalty to that which one holds dear.

Judos never forgot the power of his name for he carried it about with him wherever he wandered, and treasured it as a jewel in his heart. For Judas was the name of the most loyal, of the one who would die for that most precious thing.

Yet one’s journey should not be announced or advertised like branding. The self is not to be commercialised. So he called himself Michael whilst he wandered the world.

Michael believed in doing what was right for the moment. And that in each event, encounter, a person should leave differently from how they came.

For Michael, everything that is needed exists in the present moment, and this moment is all that exists. So each moment he enjoyed in the time he was in, for that very moment may not come again. Nothing was to be ignored for fear of hesitancy within.

In life, moments seek, but do not return. Golden moments must always burn.

Michael had left home when he was sixteen, wanting to find an unknown thing from the world. He sustained himself on his own innocence, fed by faith and fearlessness. And the understanding that the worst to come could only be death. Such a small price to pay for the sense of freedom gained from Michael’s own secret pain.

A pain that told Michael, incontrovertibly and irreversibly, that he had a special one thing to do in his life. One thing to do, and no matter what else he did, whether he courted Kings or ruled corporations, if he did not do this one thing in his life he would have done nothing. Yet if he could achieve this one thing, then anything else he did would not matter, nor would it constrain him. His freedom came with the price of this one thing.

Yet how could he know what it was?

Rather than sit at home wondering, musing through moments as if they were abundant and endless, Michael opened his own front gate onto the world and stepped out from the family familiars and comfort furnishings. Like a sailor on a sinking ship, the only thing to save was himself. Similarly, the only thing to lose was himself. In-between Michael knew a balance could be found, and there was no harm in trying.

Just as the hand of winter reveals the secrets of spring, the fractals of nature conspire towards connecting all seeming coincidences. Even those things thought of as a hindrance have a purpose: shade protects from the sun; cold preserves and protects the buds; and hurt provides the pleasure of knowing joy.

It sounds so simple, so easy, so childlike. The world isn’t always so simple. The world keeps its own secrets for the seeker to discover.

Michael had secrets too; so engrained that they had become a part of his flesh. So he couldn’t give them away lest he lose a portion of his skin.

Instead Michael went looking for someone he could tell his secrets to. He knew there must be someone who can keep secrets.

When the heart longs for fresh water it will no longer dwell near the brackish water of ditches and stagnant ponds. Nor will the salt water of the sea suffice. As the swan glides effortlessly, so does the temptation drag the duckling in its wake.

KLD